Mazel Tov! The Complete Book of Jewish Weddings

By Lea Bayers Rapp

The following excerpt from this lighthearted and informative book explains what to expect just after you've become engaged, and how to tell the world about it.

From Mouth to Media

Fortunately, there are many ways for you to spread the news and share the simcha with your family and others. In this era of advanced technology, there is an arsenal of equipment at the ready to complement the more traditional ways of making the grand announcement.

While "in person" is the traditional, most ideal way to announce your engagement, this isn't always an option. The phone can be a great way to get your news out there. Be prepared to answer a million and one questions if they've never met your honey before:

"What's his last name?" (That's a euphemism for "Is he Jewish?")

"Is he a professional?"

"What in the world is a quality assurance automation tester?"

"Can he actually make a living at this?"

"Is he handsome?"

"Where are his parents from? What do they do?" (Translation: "Do they have money?")

"Have you met them yet? What are they like?" (Translations: "Shall we be jealous of them now?" "Will they treat you like the princess you are?" "Will we become merry machetenestas or outlaw in-laws?")

"When are we going to meet our future son-in-law?"

There are several other ways in which to tell your loved ones about your engagement. You can leave a voice-mail message, send an e-mail, send a fax, even set up a Web site that announces your good news. You can then direct friends and family there so that they can be joyously surprised. Another method you might try, especially if your family and friends live far away and it isn't possible to tell them in person, is to make a videotape of you and your fiancé breaking the good news.

Putting It in Print

Now that you've told your immediate family and friends, you or your parents can further spread the word by placing an engagement announcement in the newspaper. You can select your local paper, the newspaper of the largest metropolitan area near you, the one that covers the town where you work, a neighborhood weekly paper that publishes social notices, and/or any Jewish newspapers in your area. If you're really into telling the world, why not go public? Pro: it's an easy way to share your good news with a wider group of people than those you can notify in person or by more individualized methods. Con: you never know who's reading your announcement and what type of information they can glean from it. Con artists and kooks can learn lots of things about you—including what you look like and your background. Another caveat: it seems like every wedding vendor in the world will be calling to sell you something. But hey—you may get some good ideas or deals!

Excerpt from Mazel Tov! The Complete Book of Jewish Weddings by Lea Bayers Rapp. Published by Citadel Press/Kensington Publishing Corp.