You Go, JGirl
By JOANNA STEIN
THE JGIRL'S GUIDE
The Young Jewish Woman's Handbook
By Penina Adelman, Ali Feldman, and Shulamit Reinharz
186 pages. Jewish Lights Publishing. $14.99.
The Talmud reports that on the 15th day of Av, young women
would don white garments and dance in the vineyards, while single males would
watch and select their future wives. Today we commemorate this ritual with Tu B’Av. While
the teenage girl in your life may not have taken part in the Jewish Valentine's
Day (it is a somewhat obscure holiday), there are other ways to nurture the
connection between a young woman and her Jewish identity, and The JGirl’s Guide: The Young Jewish Woman’s
Handbook for Coming of Age is a good place to start.
The JGirl’s Guide, a collaborative
effort of Penina Adelman, Ali Feldman, and Shulamit Reinharz, serves as a guide
to navigating the social world as a Jewish girl, and eventually as a Jewish
woman. A clever combination of the informative and the interactive, the book
applies the teachings of the Torah to modern teen life. According to Adelman,
Feldman, and Reinharz, Judaism can help girls deal with daily-life issues such
as stress, peer pressure, and parental arguments.
In the past, Jewish girls might have felt somewhat disconnected from their
religious identity since they did not have the opportunity to become a Bat
Mitzvah. No more. Many contemporary young women can become B’not Mitzvah, and
those who do are more than ready for the JGirl's
Guide.
The Guide explores the whole
smorgasbord of adolescent life—friendship, eating, health, sexuality, self-esteem,
communication, getting involved in society, dealing with authority, coping with
stress—and how this can feed into a Jewish sense of self.
At the beginning of each chapter, the authors helpfully list thematic mitzvot. For instance, the section on
"getting involved" focuses on the mitzvot
of tikkun olam, or ‘repairing the
world,’ and kol Yisrael areivim zeh lazeh,
or ‘all of Israel are responsible for one another.’
Throughout the Guide one finds provocative
discussion questions, activities for teens, and relevant biblical stories. The
book also features stories from rabbis, athletes, writers, scholars, and musicians,
in addition to words of wisdom and commiseration from fellow JGirls. The
authors encourage readers to keep journals to further consider the discussion
questions and record their personal journeys.
While I read the book, I was beamed back to my former JGirl self. I remembered
that before my Bat Mitzvah, my rabbi had given me a book on Jewish values. The
volume contributed to my decision to become a lifelong vegetarian. I doubt that
the book intended to convert me to vegetarianism, but that's one of the main
things that I got out of it. In the same way, each teen reader will take
something different from The JGirl's
Guide.
A girl seeking advice and answers to the difficult questions that arise during
adolescence will benefit from this book. While it won’t solve every problem
that she faces, it will surely show that she's not alone, that other teen girls
experience those same issues.
The book is also a great reference for educators and a good guide for parents.
The three authors offer a realistic perspective on the often-difficult teen
years. Ideally, parents and daughters can read and discuss the book together.
On Tu B’Av and every other day of the Jewish calendar, it’s important to
remember how much Judaism is a part of who we are. I am not just a woman, but a
Jewish woman, and this book helped me, a former JGirl, remember what that
means.